Grading: The Life-Suck of Teachers Everywhere

Hi everyone, today I would like to talk about what has been consuming my life for the past 2 weeks - grading. For any of you who are teachers (I am assuming this is the same for teachers of all varieties, but that assumption might be ill-informed), you know that there are so many parts of the job that are rewarding, fun, and sometimes energizing. Having a great discussion or an activity that goes really well can make your day, or even week. Unfortunately, there are also parts of the job that are the soul-sucking worst. For me, this is grading. I hate it. I hate it so much that part of me wishes that things could simply be pass/ fail. Of course, as a student I would hate it if a paper or test that I did really well on was considered to be on the same level as someone who simply met the minimum requirements. But as a teacher my life would be so much easier if I could simply say - "yes you did this" or "no you did not do this" and move the f**k on with my life. There are several reasons why I hate grading so much. I am going to share these reasons with you now:

The first reason is that it absolutely brings out the worst qualities I have as a human being. I am a horrible procrastinator, and nothing makes me put off working more than a giant stack of papers to grade. I will spend hours thinking about, and then avoiding, grading until it is the very last possible second. This procrastination leads to days of constant anxiety about the fact that I am knowingly avoiding work that absolutely has to be done. When I have to grade a set of papers, I constantly have that tight, nauseous feeling in my stomach until I finish grading. But that anxiety is paralyzing, and I cannot focus and begin grading because I am so distracted by the fact that I have procrastinated so much. It also demonstrates my piss-poor organizational skills and lack of forethought. I never, ever remember to organize my classes in ways that make the grading cycles easier for myself. This is especially true when I am teaching more than one type of class. For example - this week I collected not only midterm exams for my satire class, but also paper #2 in composition (in addition to the in-class work that needs to be graded as well). If I would have actually compared the schedules and planned my classes more efficiently, I could have avoided having 100 major assignments to grade at roughly the same time.

This leads me to the next thing I hate about grading - the fact that I create all this work for myself. Every assignment, work sheet, in-class writing, essay, and test is created by me. I am the cause of this work, and so I have no one to blame but myself. Granted, the department dictates the papers that I assign for composition, but all other assignments are up to my discretion. The problem with that is I like it when my students are actively working in class, and not simply discussing writing in an abstract way. To me, practice is the key to writing, and thus my students complete a lot of assignments in class. Unfortunately, this just makes more grading for me. And the literature courses I teach are wholly designed by me, so I don't even have the convenient scapegoat of the department to blame for all the grading of group projects, in-class writings, and exams. Knowing that I am the only person I can blame just infuriates me more.

The last thing I hate about grading is the aftermath. Grades bring out the raging asshole in some students. Seemingly reasonable, bright individuals become neurotic, irrational, emotional messes when they receive a grade they did not expect. There are two types of students that display this behavior: 1) the student who typically gets good grades but did not excel on this particular assignment and 2) the student who does not do the work in the class but still expects to get a decent grade because apparently they have suffered some sort of rare head injury.

Let's talk about category #1 first. Now, I will freely admit that I have been this student before. As a matter of fact, it has not been that long ago that I was this student (Hey Chris, if by any chance you are reading this, sorry buddy. I was clearly not in my right mind that day). These students are not really that hard to deal with. It mostly takes patience and an explanation that one grade on one paper does not define them a student, and certainly does not define them as a person (I am still working on understanding this myself, so I have a lot of empathy for students who struggle with this). You will have the occasional student in category #1 that is very pushy about you changing their grade, which is super annoying. The idea that a 19 year old is going to convince me to change my mind about anything is pretty laughable, so it takes some self-control to avoid actually laughing when they suggest that they are a better judge of their writing than you are.

Category #2 is far, far worse. A few days ago I made a promise to myself that I would no longer dwell on the students who are irresponsible and do not do their work, and I would instead focus my energy on the students who are actively engaging with the class and are at least trying to improve themselves through education. The students in category #2 make keeping this promise nearly impossible. These students are the ones who never show up to class, are always on their phones or facebook, never participate in discussion, but still think that their 3 pages of writing for a 5-7 page paper guarantees them at least a C. It is hard to avoid sounding like a dick when you have to tell someone that the reason they did not pass the paper is because they are a shitty student, but that is basically what these conversations boil down to. In my experience, I spend 10 minutes telling another person all the reasons they are fucking up, and that is not pleasant for either party. The other problem with this category of students is that they often come into these discussions with a very defensive attitude. This stems from the fact that they are aware that they are sucking as a student, but they don't want to admit it to themselves so they project their shame/ anger with themselves onto you. This is what I have the hardest time dealing with. When someone gives me attitude, I just CANNOT sit there and take that shit. I automatically give it right back, and then some. It is a response that I have not yet learned to control, and it doesn't exactly scream professionalism...

This actually went on longer than I had planned, but I felt like I needed to articulate what it is about grading that makes me such a basket case. This has actually made me feel a little better. If only writing this blog could magically make the stacks of midterms disappear from my desk, my blood pressure might go down and this twitch in my left eye might stop. It has, however, allowed me to put off grading  for another hour (and the cycle continues). Thanks for reading friends; until next time.

A Trip Above the Arctic Circle

Hi everyone! It has been a while since I have updated this blog, and for that I apologize - I know you have all been waiting with bated breath for another of my oh-so-awe-inspiring posts in order to access my vast insights into the world of foreign living...What's that? You haven't been sitting at your computer night and day, refreshing your browser in the hopes that I would grace you with my presence? I am shocked. Anyway, last week was winter break here, and I took that name to heart and planned an arctic adventure trip. One of the other instructors, Kate, and I went to Tromsø, Alta, and Karasjok for five days. Here are some of the highlights from the trip:

This is the view from the plane on our way into Tromsø. As you can see, the sun is setting and making the sky look really cool. 

Again, the pinkish/ aqua sky against the mountains is really pretty.

And how about another picture from the plane for good measure.

This is the harbor in Tromsø. It is a very nice and cute city. It is apparently known as "the Paris of the north" because it is so pretty.

Plus there is a random walrus statue there, so obviously Tromsø knows what's up.

Also, at the Tromsø Museum there is a giant "Thumbs Up Lizard" for no apparent reason. Ten points for Tromsø.

From Tromsø we went on our camping trip about 30 minutes outside of the city. This is a lavvu, or a traditional Sapmi (indigenous arctic people) tent. This is where we spent the night. 

Here is the inside of the tent. Don't let the fire and reindeer pelts fool you, it was f**king cold in that tent. 

Here is me in my sweet winter gear. While the snow suit was actually very effective and comfortable, the boots weighed about 10lbs a piece. 

This is one of my dog friends. They were all really friendly and loud. We played with the dogs and then had reindeer stew for dinner. Then we waited for the main event of the night...

The Northern Lights! Considering this night was the only night all week that had good solar wind activity, we were really lucky we got to see them. And I actually got a picture, which is supposed to be impossible with a point-and-shoot camera!

Oh, you know, just huddling under some reindeer hides, like normal...

This is where the sled dogs live. There were a ton of them here. 

Getting ready for the ride.

Here we go! It was really fun, and the dogs are so excited to run that they try to run the other sleds down. Our driver Robert was also very friendly and informative.

Thanks for the ride, guys! It was super cool. After this we were off to Alta and then Karasjok - on a 12 hour total bus ride...

This is the Sapmi Parliament. It was a cool looking building in the tiny town of Karasjok. I also got to see some reindeer on the way to Karasjok on the bus, but I didn't have my camera out :(

  And then this painting tried to steal my soul. Contemporary Norwegian paintings (the ones at this particular museum anyway) are creepy. Sorry to stereotype, but seriously...

So, yeah, that is my trip in a nutshell. As you can see, I took a lot more pictures in Tromsø than in Alta or Karasjok. So much of the end of the trip was spent traveling between places that I really didn't get a chance to take pictures. Overall the trip was great. We didn't get to do any reindeer herding this time (due to the fact that the herds are in the mountains at this time of year - a fact that I was unaware of because I did not plan this particular part of the trip...), but oh well, no trip can be perfect. I feel like the trip was overall successful, and while I didn't get to spend time with the reindeer, I ate enough of their brothers and sisters to last me a lifetime. Seriously, everyone in Northern Norway pushes reindeer on you like its some sort of street drug. The rest of my winter break should have been spent grading papers, but I really just laid around and planned more stuff for my Ireland/ Scotland trip. Considering half of my students haven't even came back from break yet, I don't feel too bad for not having their papers for them. Well far away friends, I think this is it for now. Until next time...

When Language Barriers Cause Extreme Embarrassment

Hi far away friends! Sorry it has been a while since I have updated this blog, I will try and do better in the future. In all honesty, I haven't really done much that has been particularly noteworthy. I booked a bunch of trips, but I will want to blog about those adventures as they happen, so I will wait until I have fun pictures and stories to tell to discuss those matters. Overall, life here in Norway for the last couple weeks have been just that: normal, everyday life. I go to work, do some reading, shop, talk to friends and family via skype, you know - just regular life things. One thing that I have not been doing nearly enough is working out, which led to my most current endeavor: signing up for and actually going to a gym. For those of you who may not know, I f**king HATE exercising. Like a lot. I hate sweating, I hate wearing ugly workout clothes, I hate gym shoes, I just hate it all. But one of my recent goals in life is to not die of a heart attack by the time I am 30, so I decided to get healthy. So far, I have lost quite a bit of weight - like enough weight to equal a small adult or a very big child. Here are some comparison pictures:

This is me in 2011 at my friends Chris and Katie's wedding.

This is me today. I really did just come from the gym, so please don't make fun of my crappy hair or the fact that this outfit makes me look like I just came from an interpretive dance class. I had a different  shirt on, but it was so sweaty I couldn't bear to photograph and publish it.

So yeah, a pretty big difference. I am of course not finished with my whole "be healthy and avoid type 2 diabetes" plan; as a matter of fact I have quite a ways to go before I will consider this goal accomplished. Anyway, in order to counteract my natural aversion to exercise and keep on the right track, I have to be penalized in some real and measurable way if I do not work out. This is where joining a gym comes into play. Losing money is the only way I can trick myself into going to the gym. Because while I am lazy, I am far more cheap than I am lazy. Having to actually pay a fee to join a gym is the only motivation I have found to make me get up and go work out. Not concern for my health, not a desire to be the best version of myself I can be - the only thing that has worked has been seeing that money come out of my account and knowing that if I don't exercise, I am basically paying a "lazy-ass tax" every month.

The good news for me is that a new gym called "Fresh Fitness" (I seriously can't deal with that name, but whatever) just opened up here in Moss that does not require a contract and is pretty reasonably priced. I decided that I would join, and today was my first day. This is where my good intentions hit some snags. First, I had to register. They actually have a handy kiosk so that you can sign up and pay your first month's fee all by yourself. Unfortunately, it is of course in Norwegian, which I do not read or speak. So luckily the front desk girl spoke wonderful English and helped me through it. Then I had some problems getting into the actual gym part because the sign explaining how the card-activated door works was in Norwegian as well. I finally walk into the facility and towards the locker room, or what I presume is the locker room - again, Norwegian language problem. I wasn't really paying that much attention, open up the door and notice showers, lockers, and benches, so I figure I have made it to my destination. "Good job Errin"- says my inner voice. There is nobody in the room, so I quickly get dressed, put my shoes on, and fill up my water bottle. Then I realize I didn't ask if you had to rent lockers, so I gather my things and head out the door to ask. Just as I am walking out of the door, another person opens it and walks through. This person was most definitely a guy. I look at him, he looks at me, and he just cracks up laughing. I manage to laugh a little, but I mostly wanted to vaporize at that moment, never to be seen again. In my haste to try and figure everything out and get things under control, I failed to notice that the figure above the word "garderoben" (the Norwegian word for locker room, for those who are interested) did not, as I thought I saw, have a dress on. Now, I don't know how many people know this, but I actually embarrass quite easily. I turn beat red and really, really hate myself for quite a while after I do something mortifying. The problem is, I do embarrassing shit all the damn time. I fall down a lot, I say dumb shit, I break and spill stuff all the time - I am just a hot mess. You would think that because I do stupid things all the time that the embarrassment would lessen, but alas it does not. I seriously wanted to die. And I hope I never see that guy again. Or the other people that undoubtedly saw me make this mistake, as there were several people in the area when I walked out of the men's locker room. Oh well, I did have a nice workout. And, let's be honest, this really wouldn't be my life if I didn't do at least one thing while in Norway that reminded me that I am still the same ungraceful doofus I have always been. Well, I think this is it for now. Until next time...

A Happy Hour at the American Embassy - Don't Mind if I Do!

Let's tackle some serious issues here kids - namely booze. As most of you know, I have been known to enjoy a cocktail or two (or ten- don't judge me). As a matter of fact, as a person with few hobbies and a strong desire to be out and about as opposed to staying at home, I find drinking to be a very enjoyable pastime. This, however, becomes problematic when one moves to Norway. Norway has a special luxury tax on three items - tobacco, candy, and alcohol. Thus, alcohol is crazy expensive. If you order a beer at a bar or a restaurant, you should expect to pay at least 80-100 kroner, which is the equivalent of 15-20 USD. The only thing that I have found that is even remotely reasonable price-wise is boxed wine. I bought a box the other day, and if my math is correct, it averages out at about $12 a bottle, which I am okay with. Here is my lovely purchase:

By the way, I have a special love for boxed wine. It reminds me of when I lived with my BFF (what up, Ash!) and it has a spigot, which is decidedly awesome. Anyone who criticizes/ looks down on boxed wine hates America and drowns bunnies.

This will last me for quite a while, but I still felt ripped off. So imagine my delight when Krista (my boss at ACN) asked me if I would like to go to a Happy Hour at the American Embassy to celebrate the inauguration and mentioned that the drinks would be "American priced." Hanging out with diplomats and drinking drinks that don't cost more than the clothes I am wearing? Yes, please. It was really fun. They had cocktails called "Obama-Mamas" and "Fiscal Cliff Cocktails" that were normal prices. They also had food and the people were really friendly. I got to meet some people from the Department of Education and some of the US Marines stationed here in Norway. I also got my picture taken with cardboard cutouts of the Obamas (I will have to get the picture from Krista, she took it on her phone). It was a nice way to end the week. Well, that's it for now. Until next time... 

President Obama’s Second Inauguration Celebrated Overseas

Today I got to do something special. The American Embassy invited several people, including individuals from ACN, to Oslo to view the inauguration of the President of the United States via live stream and then enjoy a screening of Lincoln. It was not special just because it was fun, though it was, for sure. There was free booze - which in Norway is like somebody passing out gold f-ing coins, real talk.  But it was special more so because it reminded me why I was/ am so happy that President Obama was re-elected. Now, I don’t make my politics secret to anyone. I would probably be a card-carrying member of the socialist party if such a thing still actually existed in the US (and if I wasn’t deeply skeptical of all organized groups and their potential for corruption). But I am not happy about President Obama’s election solely for the reasons that most people would think. Of course I am thrilled that we have a President that wants to protect the rights of women, fight poverty and the unequal distribution of resources, end a decade of stupid and fruitless war, make healthcare a right for all citizens, and finally allow all citizens the right to marry whom they choose. These are all fantastic reasons to be happy that President Obama was re-elected. But above all these things, I am downright proud that cynicism and hatred did not triumph in this election.

There was and is a lot to despise about the Romney/ Ryan campaign and the politics it represented. So much in fact that I am not going to go into all the details. Instead I am going to point out the thing I thought the very worst of their whole disgusting agenda, and that is the absolute disdain and blatant cynicism that the campaign displayed not only towards its opponents, but also its own constituents. Basically, the Romney/ Ryan campaign fed on the idea that they could win an election through scare tactics and lying. Their goal was to cater to the worst impulses in humans and capitalize on individuals who were and still are going through some of the hardest times of their lives. They banked on the notion that people would not inform themselves, and would fall for their faked photo-ops and soulless pandering. And you know what? It didn’t work. In a country that faces one of the worst economic crises in recent history, where people are losing their houses and jobs and benefits, people still chose a candidate that would best lead the country. They didn’t let Romney and Ryan and their campaign’s cynicism and contempt for the American people win.

Listening to President Obama’s speech today reminded me of how proud I was that Election Day. Not to say that President Obama is perfect, he certainly is not. But what his re-election represents for me is one of the qualities that I admire most in any person – optimism. The idea that facing hard times does not mean that we should compromise our integrity; it means that we should visualize a better future and work hard to try and make that happen. It was a nice reminder, and I am glad I got to experience this moment of real pride in my being an American citizen while currently the guest of another nation.  

A Trip to the Capital - Oslo

 Hi everyone! Today I decided to venture out of my new little home and peruse the capital of Norway, the city of Oslo. Kate, the other instructor from UND, and I left by train for Oslo this morning and just kind of meandered around the city for a while. We looked at some shops, saw some sights, and went to the Nobel Peace Center. Here are some highlights from the day:

This is Karl Johans Gate. It is kind of the main walking street in this part of Oslo. There is lots of shopping, restaurants, bars, and such

Most of the buildings are very pretty. Lots of old architecture

This is the National Theatre. I would like to see a show there, but since I wouldn't know what the hell was going on, I might skip it

This is the Royal Palace. I think this is the least flashy palace ever made. Norwegians are not know for being frivolous, that's for sure

       

This is a statue of Karl Johan. The inscription on the side says roughly (acoording to google translate) "The People's Love is My Reward"

This is one of the palace guards. Surprisingly the guards are actually armed, but I am pretty sure the weapon they carry is a BB gun

This guard was nice enough to let me take a picture with him. He was very cute and gracious, and I am pretty sure he was 12 years old. I wanted to ask why they choose to guard the royal family with lightly armed toddlers, but I didn't want to seem rude

The view of the city from the palace steps

The waterfront. Kate assured me that it is much more lively and entertaining when it isn't frozen

This is the Nobel Peace Center. It is currently showing a very interesting exhibit on Mahatma Gandhi who they refer to as "the missing laureate" because while nominated on multiple occasions, he was never awarded the prize 

 

This is me listening to some information about Gandhi on what are possibly the first headphones to ever be manufactured. These things had to be at least 60 years old.

A very, very cool exhibit about the role of cartoons in public discourse surrounding the Israeli/ Palestinian conflict

In case you can't read the picture, it says, "It's easy to forget the human side of this. The cartoons help show the real face of the conflict. They help people realize that we are all in this together"

A few of the cartoons displayed

Each one of the peace laureates has a tablet that displays information about their lives and work and they are surrounded by these cool lights. It looked really pretty, but I have to be honest and tell you guys that I definitely did not read them all (or any of them actually - I might suck)

Another view of the lights and peace laureate tablets

The Grand Hotel

The buildings all lit up and pretty

This is Stortinget, the Parliament of Norway

And finally, a Tiger. I have no clue why there is a random tiger statue outside the train station, but I am just going with it

This was pretty much my day in photo-form. We also had a seriously awesome (and surprisingly affordable) meal at the cafe in the Nobel Peace center, but I don't want to become one of those people who takes pictures of the food I eat as if that is a totally normal and not ridiculous thing to do (you know who you are - knock it off!) The day was fun, relaxing, and really f-ing cold. I am now snuggled under a blanket with some hot tea, trying to warm up about 6 hours of chill. I am sure I will go back to Oslo and do some more serious city-exploring, but I think it may be wise to wait for a warmer day. That's it for now. Thanks for reading, pals of mine!

Sliding My Way to Work

I am going to warn my lovely little group of readers: there will be some light to moderate complaining in this post. I like teaching. I like teaching a lot. It is one of the few jobs, that I know of, where you do not have a boss breathing down your neck and you are not only encouraged, but expected to design your days as you see fit. Here is what I don't like about teaching in Norway - walking down the slick as all f**k hill to the school while it is still dark. I had mentioned before that in Norway they do not clear the sidewalks or streets. This means that any snow/ water/ slush that is accumulated throughout a given day freezes overnight into a solid sheet of ice. Now, I live in Grand Forks and I have previously lived in Champaign, IL. I am accustomed to walking on ice, even if I am still pretty bad at it. Those areas of the world, however, are flat. My trek to school here in Moss is short, but it also happens to be straight down a steep hill. It's also dark. So far I have fallen twice. Here is my regular morning path:

Notice how you can't see anything? Yeah, me neither

Today I managed to get down the hill unscathed. Thank god I listened to my mama and brought my snow boots instead of the cute boots I wanted to replace them with. These boots are making it possible for me get to work with at least a little bit of dignity intact:

If you are wondering, the answer is yes, my snow boots are silver leopard spotted. I am forever 12 years old

I will leave you all with something a little more pleasant, the lovely view outside my kitchen window. Although it is a certified pain in the ass to have to walk on the ski slope that is the hill to my apartment, I am very happy to look out the window and see this:

Thanks for reading and have a good week. Until next time...